I promised I wouldn’t be back in this place again…feeling disappointed for feeling the way I feel for knowing right from wrong apologizing when I don’t even owe an apology smh but that’s what a promise is for sheer comfort to a fool and that fool would be me… I shouldn’t be upset… I should be admiring Gods work, how everyday right before my eyes he’s showing me his amazing craft of building a life from what should’ve and almost was dust… I shouldn’t be angry at the thought of ur miseducation… I shouldn’t have to be forcing myself to pretend it doesn’t bother me BECAUSE IT SHOULD NOT MATTER….smh…. Lord…..cover me please….and restore my peace of mind once again
As much as I wanna leave something inside keeps pulling me back forcing me to hold on trying to explain my past. Yeah I had my share of friends but never took it too far, just a night on the town and a much needed conversation. I took trips up North only for some security me and him never cause my heart is with you. True I roomed and boarded with another but we never made it under covers, I couldn’t comprehend grasping a new life with a stranger. I always intended to sit and explain this legal shit with you, I often prayed it would be over so I could be more than a lover so much more than a name. Babe it hurt to know you think I never did care and my first born ain’t your seed. I know I hurt you and over stand you got it in your head but please try to see in the same sense you hurt me too by neglecting me and depriving me from what we used to be but I’m in the wrong cause I should’ve remained in the shadows hoping and waiting for you to return to the way we once was boy I’ve never cheated or needed with them they just couldn’t amount to you baby you my world damn near like the air I breath could be why the Lord pulling us apart for me to open my eyes try to find some solid ground before I leap into another
I think it’s pitiful that only when our life’s are being taken by the police do our people feel the need to riot rally and come together for visuals smh…where was the rally for change when my cousin was shot in the head by someone the same color as he “just” because the other guy was “tired of this nigga”? Where was the massive crowd and outrage after a grandmother was shot in her car by someone of the same color? Smh…. It hurts to see and even acknowledge we live in a world of soulless shells who would do these things but even sadder that we won’t hold our own kind, our black brothers accountable for what they’re doing daily in our neighborhoods but will chant black lives matter and hold signs looking for demanding justice when a white person kills a black person👀👀👀 what makes us killing us any different? I will admit I’m not a holy roller, but Lord knows I pray for this world, I pray for this hell on earth we call home. I pray that my sons, the little men I’ve been blessed to bring up will be able to grow into the Kings I’m raising them to be and be great to do great. I pray the same for my nephews and cousins. I pray that my daughters will be able to grow up into being queens and won’t have to watch or worry about if they get pulled over will they be killed and accused of things that aren’t true. I pray they won’t have to continue to hear or watch in the news how yet another black life was taken. Smh…. Lord we all must do better…before were extinct….
Life tried to sway me and throw me off the bridge BUT I’m still here. Sent a minion a nobody a confused shell of a man a follower a sheep in wolves skin to attempt to take my family from me thinking it would cause me to bend and be broken smh🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 try again. And although I’ve lost countless nights of sleep I’m still full of faith and love and overstand that this too like every other storm will past….