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There once was a time I loved you and all and everything that was you…but not anymore. For so many years I’ve caught myself arguing with my better mind one screaming this isn’t love you idiot run skip hop jump whatever gives you motion do it FAST and get far away while the other rebuttals this “is” love and all it brings…truth of the matter is I never knew love. Never saw it growing up yet alone got it from the 1 person who should have loved me like no one else on this earth would…BUT what I am certain of, is this thing we’ve kept going on this game of charades that we play like champs for the world to see its not what I want and most importantly not what I need… For so long I’ve hated the way I look the way I walk the way I talk how I laugh 💩 everything that is and is in me only because you made me believe it was all wrong…not anymore. I’m done. Nowadays like today especially like today in this very moment I hate you… I hate the way you smile the way you talk the fact that “you need me” to handle things a “grown ass man” should know how to take care of, I hate that you find it ok to cheat BUT are too remedial to cheat with someone better than me  I hate that you honestly believe I have no reason to feel the way that I feel I hate that you foolishly believe that I’m wrong for not trusting you in fact you’re dumb for even thinking I’m obligated to forgiving you and moving forward I hate that you “think” you love me I hate that you even “think” you know what love is and means I hate that we met I hate that I was so fucking blind to “the real you” way back from day 1 I hate that I gave up a better life to pursue this dark miserable hell on earth life I’m struggling to gain control of I hate the way you walk think look feel sleep and breath most importantly I hate that I’ve given you the power to force me in this mood…..